Friends & Family

We use the term ally for simplicity here. An ally can be the partner of someone with Cerebral Palsy, another family member, a friend, a colleague – someone important in the person with CP’s life, who they need to be their ally.

What somebody with Cerebral Palsy might want their ally to know

We’re not all the same
Cerebral Palsy affects everyone differently – please don’t make assumptions.

We have challenges
We are often in pain, and that affects our capabilities and our mood. Fatigue is also something people with CP have to manage constantly. Please take this into account when making plans, or as those plans unfold.

We want to be included
We have our challenges (see above). That means that when making arrangements, these need to be taken account of if we’re going to be able to join in. And we want to. For example, if we’re all going to the pub, are there issues about accessing or toileting? Like most of the points here, a little bit of thoughtfulness goes a long way.

The little things can be challenging too
We may have difficulty answering the phone, or writing a text, for example, meaning we’re slow to reply. Please make allowances.

Our wants and dreams are the same as everyone else
We want to live life to the full. We want all the sorts of things in our personal and professional lives that you do. We have challenges – we aren’t defined by them.

We may be more susceptible to mental health issues
There is strong evidence that there is a significantly higher prevalence of mental health issues for people with Cerebral Palsy. It’s important as a friend for anyone to be aware if your friend is struggling with their mental health, and to be there as a support for them. Because of the greater propensity for having mental health issues for someone with CP, that is even more the case.

We need to stay active
Being active is important for everyone, particularly as we get older. That’s all the more the case for people with Cerebral Palsy, given our mobility issues. Encouraging us by doing sports or other fitness activities with us can be very valuable.

Be our advocate at medical appointments
Talk through with us what we want to get from the appointment. Offer to go along as a second pair of ears, and be ready to be an advocate at the appointment (medical professionals can be scary).

What allies need their friend or family member with Cerebral Palsy to know

We need to understand what’s going on with you
Explain the particular issues you have with Cerebral Palsy so we can be a good ally. Let us know if you are having a good or bad day so we can be sensitive to that.

The more you explain, the better allies we can be
Tell us about your challenges, so we can be more inclusive and thoughtful. Help us understand your daily challenges – help us walk in your shoes.

Relationships work both ways
Your CP affects you, of course, but it also affects us in that it affects our relationship with you. We need to work through those issues together.

We need support too.
There are many support groups for allies of people with Cerebral Palsy, and they are very valuable as a place to let off steam, to be understood, and to get practical tips and advice. Encourage us to join them.