
Poet and advocate Dr. Kuli Kohli shares the story of her life, art, and triumph over challenges.
With a smile and an energy that lightens the virtual room, Dr. Kohli recounts her journey as a British Asian woman with cerebral palsy who defied the odds, inspiring others with her tenacity, humour, and poetry. Throughout the evening, Dr. Kohli emphasises her unwavering commitment to live fully, reflecting deeply on her cultural background, personal growth, and the countless roles she juggles as a writer, mother, and community figure.
Embracing Identity: Finding Meaning Between Cultures and Challenges
Dr. Kohli discusses her layered identity as a Punjabi-British woman with cerebral palsy, which has profoundly shaped both her worldview and her art. She describes her birth as an “uninvited guest” who had to earn her place in a world that viewed her arrival with scepticism. Her poem “An Uninvited Guest” paints this picture, conveying her complex relationship with her disability. She expresses how it often felt as though she was an outsider, not just in society but even within her community, where her disability was viewed as a hurdle rather than part of her essence.
Her experience growing up with cultural expectations that clashed with her need for personal freedom is another recurring theme. Dr. Kohli vividly describes how she straddled both British and Punjabi cultural norms, blending them into a life that feels wholly her own yet carries traces of her heritage. She laughingly recalls wearing Western clothes for work while adhering to more traditional attire at home, adapting to the dual cultural landscape around her.
Throughout these experiences, Dr. Kohli found solace and expression in writing, sharing that poetry was her “voice when she couldn’t speak.” Her writing process is both therapeutic and introspective, giving her a way to reflect on life’s struggles while connecting with others who may feel similarly isolated.
The Balance of Art, Family, and Self: Persevering Through Daily Life
Dr. Kohli recounts the balancing act of writing, working, and raising a family, touching on the pressures many women face to fulfil various roles flawlessly. She speaks of the daily rituals and duties she performed at home: cooking, cleaning, ironing, and caring for her children. All this, while simultaneously managing her writing during work breaks, late nights, and weekends. She describes how her time to write felt stolen—something she had to carve out amidst responsibilities. Her in-laws initially viewed her writing with scepticism, questioning why she’d spend hours alone “typing away.” Over time, however, she proved them wrong, establishing herself as a respected voice in her community.
One of her best-known poems, “A Woman Like Me,” resonates with countless women who face the pressures of caring for families while maintaining their careers and creative passions. In it, Dr. Kohli describes the multifaceted role of women who are expected to be tireless, intelligent, and beautiful, yet often long for a break or to escape. It concludes with a simple yet profound sentiment of self-acceptance: “A woman like me…I only know me.” This poem underscores the strength and endurance of women who feel torn between expectations and desires, yet ultimately accept and embrace who they are.
The Creative Process: Overcoming Doubt and Embracing Rejection
Dr. Kohli’s journey to publication was not easy. She emphasises that perseverance was her greatest ally, explaining that she was rejected over a hundred times before finally being accepted by an international magazine. “Someone out there will accept your work if it’s what they’re looking for,” she assured her listeners, urging them not to fear rejection but to see it as part of the journey.
She shares a few key tips for anyone hoping to pursue writing:
- Surround Yourself with Supportive People: She recommended finding a community that uplifts, listens, and provides constructive feedback. Dr. Kohli herself found solace in the community of writers and friends who respected her voice and encouraged her art.
- Embrace Constructive Criticism: She emphasized that not everyone would understand or appreciate her work, but feedback helped her grow as a writer.
- Stay Persistent Through Rejections: Dr. Kohli stressed that each rejection was a stepping stone. Her first acceptance in the global magazine Institute Face Initiative came after many setbacks, proving her resilience.
- Focus on Positivity: Despite hardships, Dr. Kohli chooses to focus on the positives. She described life as a boat that is sometimes storm-tossed yet still floats onward, eventually reaching calm waters.
- Believe in Your Voice: Above all, she emphasized self-belief. For Dr. Kohli, poetry is more than words—it’s an art form that shapes her identity and connects her to others.
Reflecting on Representation: Community, Inspiration, and Connection
Dr. Kohli shares that while growing up, she never knew another Punjabi woman with cerebral palsy, which often left her feeling isolated. It wasn’t until her story was featured by the BBC that she realised the broader impact of her journey. The article drew international attention, and she received messages from people with cerebral palsy who expressed how her story inspired them. Many wrote to her, seeking advice on overcoming obstacles like isolation, marriage, and employment, which can be uniquely challenging for people with disabilities.
One story particularly stood out: a person with cerebral palsy reached out to Dr. Kohli, wondering if marriage was even a possibility. She encouraged them to believe in the possibility of finding a partner, explaining that “someone will come along,” as long as they held on to hope. Dr. Kohli acknowledged that not everyone has a positive support system, but she urged her followers to stay optimistic and find people who reinforce their belief in themselves.
Art as a Mirror of Life: Poetry, Pain, and Joy
Dr. Kohli performs some of her poetry, each piece layered with meaning. Her poem about Partition, which she wrote based on firsthand stories from her father-in-law and others, was one such work. She describes the challenges of writing about Partition – one of the most painful periods in Indian and Pakistani history. The process required her to “partition” the words themselves, creating a fragmented structure that mirrors the division and chaos of that time. Although she refrains from reading it aloud, she speaks about the catharsis it provided, expressing collective grief, remembrance, and resilience.
Another poem, “Bubbling Nonsense,” humorously tackles stereotypes and societal expectations. She reads, “I don’t walk down the street like a good Asian woman. People stare at me, thinking I’ve had too much to drink.” Dr. Kohli explains that it reflects her complex feelings about being judged both as an Asian woman and as someone with a visible disability. The poem uses humour to address stereotypes and reveals her ability to turn life’s challenges into creative expression.
The Power of Positivity: Leaving a Legacy of Resilience
In the end, Dr. Kohli stresses that despite difficulties, she prefers to focus on the bright side of life. For her, writing is a way to celebrate life’s moments and encourage others. She credits her family, mentors, and her community of fellow writers for lifting her up, helping her become not only a poet but a mentor herself.
Her final words to the audience are simple but powerful: “If you have a desire, don’t give up. Life might throw storms, but keep your boat steady, and you’ll reach your destination.” Her smile and light-hearted approach to challenges leaves a lasting impression on everyone.
In sharing her story, Dr. Kohli shows that art, even when born of hardship, is a celebration of life. Her experiences as a Punjabi-British woman with cerebral palsy resonate widely, serving as a testament to resilience, self-belief, and the boundless power of art to connect and inspire.